My struggle to look "perfectly" beautiful started in the age of three.Since my childhood I never bothered about the way I look but few things were really annoying even for a child; such as - "We don't have dress for her size!", "Don't eat much!" "Do yoga!" "Do skipping!" etc.In the age of 10, I got specs. My mother was worried. That would ruin my "BEAUTY". My eyes would look small. In high school, my "crush" rejected me just because I was over weight!
Then in the age of seventeen when I went to the college, the condition was even worse. You had to pass all the parameters of beauty to get included in the list of "Human being". Unfortunately they didn't include me. My merit wasn't a big issue. The biggest drawback was my "Imperfect" body. I wasn't a popular girl in college (Obviously). The major reason was the list of my admirer was ZERO. I never bothered.
The condition was worst after few years when my parents decided to search for a "suitable" groom for me. Despite of so many attempts in Civil Service examination I faced failure and just like any other parents my parents also decided to hand over my burden on someone else who could bear my expenses. I announced rebellion against them because I really wanted to search my real destination and my potential. Of course that was not "Marriage" at all. At least not for me. I didn't have any other way except sitting back and enjoy.
My mother forcefully opened a matrimonial account to search for a "potential" partner for me. I am not mentioning the other criterias like "Caste" "Gaan", "Kul", "Gotra", "Kundali matching" etc because our topic is something else. Mom didn't mention in the profile how the groom should look but she mentioned
"Looking for a potential partner for a "Beautiful," "fair" and "young" girl. "
Groom's look didn't matter because "Boys are valuable diamonds" and my qualities were just to be "FAIR" "Beautiful" and "Young".After few months when she was highly disappointed, she started going through the news paper Sunday Matrimonial column.
"Looking for a "FAIR", "BEAUTIFUL" , "SLIM", "TALL" " YOUNG", EDUCATED , "HOMELY" GIRL". Everyone's demand was the same. It didn't matter how the man looks like. He can be "DARK", "BALD", "FAT" whatever. The girl should look like a "Victortia's secrect model" who will stay inside the kitchen,cook for you and you can show her to the society and brag. Sometimes it felt like "Buying clothes", "Buying meat/fish". Everything has to be PERFECT! I remember one of the aspirant grooms showed me a picture of an actress and asked me to be like her. It was his condition before marriage. One of those told me to go for "Laser surgery" to look good without specs.
Finally I got married after crossing the "SOCIAL MARRIAGEABLE AGE" (The certain age limit which our society fixed). I wasn't "Young" anymore. My husband wasn't bothered about my age, "Overweight" body, specs and the other flaws. Thank God I didn't have any "Admirer" in college otherwise how would I get this man!
Jokes apart ! After marriage when I went to a function, one of the aunties teased me and humiliated.My make up was perfect, my dress was beautiful and everything else was just okay (According to me). She was continuously trying to make me feel how imperfect I am. "She will never be slim", "She is like a teddy bear", "Make up and good skin don't matter until you have a perfect body", "That day I met a model, she was the perfect example of "BEAUTY"- A diva with a perfect slim body!" OMG!
Even in many cases I have heard people telling-" His daughter in law is very ugly! She is dark like hell"; "Have you seen the nose of the bride? How small!" "Her daughter is so short like a dwarf"; Modelling agencies , film and television industry and photographers want a woman with a perfect body. If you can't match the "EUROPEAN STANDARD" of beauty, you are not at all beautiful!
Ladies and Gentlemen please give me a break!
What is the "Definition of beauty?"
How did India get so obsessed with thinness?
Ans:- Bollywood which has been primary cultural influencer for women's ideal body standards,grew steadily. In 50s' and 60s' actresses were appreciated for their facial beauty and they weren't obsessed with thinness. Eventually the sexualised beauty ideals of the west and the global pop culture finally reached India after economic reforms in 1991.Foreign companies like Revlon, Lo'real etc created a huge impact on the standard of "Womens' body" and ultimately it has become an obsession. Weight loss industry in India was valued between 60,000-70,000 crore rupees. So the beauty standard was restricted to a perfectly slim body, tall height etc.
Why we are all obsessed with FAIR skintone?
Ans: India's fascination with fair skin is literally thousands of years old. The biggest move to monetising that obsession came in 1978 , when Unilever introduced a a fairness cream - "Fair & Lovely".That opened the door of a new market of beauty products. Once again our film and television industry made a huge impact. The actors and actresses endorse brands of fairness products and everybody prefers to be light skinned. In the television commercials, magazines etc are bombarded with ads, telling us that if we're not fair skinned, we're basically gonna have a shitty, loveless and unsuccessful life.
These obsessions are not new. After so many years I have realized this. get over the hypocrisy. Feel beautiful the way you are and say-
I am perfect!
I am Beautiful!
